That’s exactly what I said to myself as I slithered (as best one can slither across wall-to-wall carpeting) from a purple foam square with a drum set on it to a red triangle piece of foam with a monkey on it. Sitting safely on the monkey’s face, I wait for the next set of instructions from the electronic lady’s voice, “Hop to a…. tangerine!”, she says. Determined to win the game, the name of which I do not know, I’m guessing it’s something like “Hopapalooza”, I make my move. Mid-air I see that my opponent, my boyfriend’s sweet 3 year old nephew, is leaping toward the same space. Fine. You win.
I spent last weekend with lots of kids – all under the age of 5 and none of them mine own. I don’t have any kids but I’m at an age where pregnancy doesn’t exactly ignite scandal. When I was younger I certainly imagined I’d be a mom by now. And, until 6 months ago, the thought of my aging eggs brought me to a sweaty shallow-breathed panic. Then one day it hit me: I’m not ready to have kids. I’d never really asked myself that. So what if I thought I was supposed to by now? So what if I’m an East Coast statistic? A modern day cliche?! There’s nothing I can do, I’m just not ready.
The truth is, I’m selfish. I like doing what I want when I want to. Sometimes I like to do that by myself or with my girlfriends or at midnight or without pants on or at the spur of the moment or on Sunday, around noon. No, not sex. WHATEVER I WANT. And, word on the street is, once you have a kid, your life is no longer yours. I don’t believe that’s entirely true but you can’t just hop on the ferry to Fire Island or have a phone conversation without playing “Let’s Make a Deal”. But that’s OK too, because honestly, how often have I ‘hopped’ on a ferry at a moments notice? Exactly zero times. Nonetheless, I’d like to keep my options open.
I have an amazing full life right now. And I love that after a weekend full of kids and games and crying and bargaining and screaming and snot and dirt, I can go home, sit on my couch, eat Caramel Cone ice cream out of the container and watch Mad Men (the 2nd best TV show of all time). When I go to bed and take a moment to enjoy the absolute silence because I know that one day, probably sooner than later, I’m not going to sleep through the night after playing countless rounds of Hopapalooza and watching Dora the Explorer. Can someone please explain to me Dora the Explorer?
So for all the women out there in a so-called panic, ask yourselves right now, what doyou really want? Not what you think you should want or what your grandmother wants or the 12 year old version of yourself. Right now. Maybe you’ll find out that you’re not ready and that you actually enjoy your life just the way it is. You’re freaking out for no reason, so enjoy your freedom. But if you do want kids right now, you should seriously get to work on getting knocked up cuz times a tickin’.
i like this one a lot. what are you doing w/out pants on?
Dora is a spanish girl that like to do fun things. She sometimes meets up with Diego, and his pet monkey “Boots”. She carries around a backpack, very similar to inspector gadgets – tons of good stuff in that thing